Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
