my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
