weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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