They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
