some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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