Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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