Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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