your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
