saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
