why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
