So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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