Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
