i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
