Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
