Do vagina's smell?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize