does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
