Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just found puke in my bra..
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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