he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
