I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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