good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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