There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
