If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
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