; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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