My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
