i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
