he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
