Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think your dad took our porno
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
