I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Floor bacon is actually really good
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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