I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
