New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
