Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
