So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
