worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
