i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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