is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
