Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
