Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Fuck appropriateness.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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