So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
