You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
