Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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