what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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