I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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