i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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