Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
