Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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