If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
