worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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