Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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