you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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