i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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