im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
