I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
