i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
