Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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