I wish my penis had an off switch
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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