how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Send help, water and tortillas.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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