Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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