Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
