whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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