Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
