from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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