sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
