SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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