Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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