Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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