Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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